Adjusting to My New Empty Nest

2 Apr

Yep. Most of you know that things around the home front with my almost-18 year old son have been tense at best. The recent conflict associated choices and consequences of HIS actions was apparently too much for him to deal with. I returned home from a business trip & VOILA – the kiddo’s bedroom was almost empty (although he did leave behind a bunch of trash).  He didn’t just pack a bag, he cleared out his closet, drawers, and shelves (and took a bunch of my stuff too).  I learned that he’s at his dad’s (15 minutes away), although I never got a return call from daddy-o (sigh – really? 15 years later and that’s what it still looks like?). There are more juicy details – post to come – but what I can say is that aside from a few waves of sadness (I’m almost feeling a bit guilty about not being an absolute wreck), I am VERY relaxed and accepting of the whole situation.

Decluttering the Home Sweet Home

It started with my son’s room – scrubbing, dumping trash, and painting. And did I mention scrubbing? It was sort of like a sickness actually – the declutter mania took over. When the boy was here, it was hard to keep things nice cuz he’s just so hard on stuff. But without the teen taz, the time was right to take care of deferred cleaning & organizing. Carloads to goodwill, weeks of full yard/recycle/trash bins – stuff be gone! Years of old paperwork burned, nooks & crannies free of clutter,  NOTHING under my bed, broken screens gone – you get the idea. And, uh, my microwave has remained clean for over 2 months!

Project Beautification

Again, the mania took over. It started with painting taz’s room. Then I noticed that the fascia’s needed a fresh coat. Then the front door was looking a bit ratty, so Rainstorm Blue it will be. And the yard? Fresh tulips (I highly recommend them to make your soul smile), space for the veggies and herbs, space for new roses, transplanted my lovely lilac to a new spot (that too makes me smile), and some love to my humble little lawn. This week my bedroom became Breezy and my container store goodies are expected soon (tidy undie drawer pic to come LOL).

Recovering from a Bum Low Back

See above. Given the lifting, sorting, moving, weeding, and dumping, I SERIOUSLY strained my low back. I consider myself relatively strong and functionally fit – but OH MY GOD – did I do a number on my back! It’s been over 2 months and here’s how the recovery looked: 2 weeks of ice and advil, 2 weeks of supported stretches & gentle yoga; 2 wks of walking/elliptical & 15 second planks & gentle core poses; 2 wks of body weight movement (static squats with stability ball, modified pushups & progressed to 30 second plank); 2 wks of folding in some dynamic bodyweight moves. You get the idea! My back is still tender, but it is definitely stronger. I will NEVER take for granted my low back again – geesh – I need it to unload the dishwasher, get out of bed, and shave my legs LOL.

Taking Care of Myself

Yes indeedy –  I’m all caught up with my pap, mammo, teeth cleaning and physicals. Sha-Bang! I’m giving myself a B+ on nutrition. It’s not an A because: I haven’t been cooking as much as I could, I’ve missed a few breakfasts,  ate out a bit more than I would have liked, and had a mad love affair with chocolate covered almonds. That said, it’s a solid B+ and I’m calling it a win! My exercise routine is definitely out of whack cuz of the back, but I’m ready to start easing back into full body, compound, low weight, medium rep kind of stuff.

Hanging Out with My BF+

Through all of this, I’ve been sooooo enjoying and appreciating my Boyfriend Plus (BF+). We’ve been together for about 14 years (I think), do not live together, and are not engaged. To call him my partner sounds goofy to me. And he’s so much more than a hunky guy that I bring to parties. So that makes him my BF+. He definitely deserves his own post on what exactly qualifies as a BF+, but don’t tell him because he’d be mortified. In short, he has been amazing through all of this. He’s been so supportive with how I’ve handled taz and this new chapter. He reminds me to handle the boy in a way that takes care of myself without any expectations, brings me ice for my back, humors me with patience and love while I try and decide on paint colors & wander through the bedding section at Target.

Of course, there is more that’s going on – simplifying and decluttering my work and digital life, enjoying zero email Fridays, and getting ready for the Earth Day Food and Wine Festival in two weeks, but for now, that’s my easing back into the blogosphere.

Hugs to all of you and thank you for your support and kindness!

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17 Responses to “Adjusting to My New Empty Nest”

  1. lindsay April 2, 2011 at 10:41 am #

    whoa Kris, sounds like a lot has been going on. But I am glad to hear things have calmed down. Its good to hear from you too.

    • Kris O'Connor @Krazy_Kris April 2, 2011 at 5:27 pm #

      Heya Lindsay! It’s definitely been calmer – BF+ says that I seem much more relaxed. I don’t think I realized how much tension there was in the house… Sigh… TY for stopping by!

  2. Karen April 2, 2011 at 4:18 pm #

    Hey you:) Glad to see you pop up in my reader. And to hear that you are doing some things for yourself.

    • Kris O'Connor @Krazy_Kris April 2, 2011 at 5:27 pm #

      Yes indeedy – I’ve been MIA – but it has been very nice to clear my head, clear my stuff, & settle into the new chapter. Hugs!

      • Coco April 3, 2011 at 8:06 am #

        You are so industrious and productive! I don’t think my reaction to an empty nest will be nearly as useful. Back issues suck, but it looks like you are doing the right things.

  3. Foodie McBody April 3, 2011 at 8:59 am #

    I’m UBER impressed with all of it. What a productive way to deal with this huge transition. I am breathing in that blue calm with you!

    I can’t wait to have time to declutter. I feel like it will take the rest of my freaking life! #baneofmyexistence

    • Kris O'Connor @Krazy_Kris April 6, 2011 at 8:15 am #

      It’s one of those “accept the things you can not change” – right? So I’ve been focusing on the things that I do have control over – and the decluttering and beautifying projects have been very peaceful. Catching up on all that stuff that has been nagging at me for a while. Would love to hear if you tackle a little spot!

  4. Suzanne @WorkoutNirvana April 3, 2011 at 4:40 pm #

    Wow!!!! It’s so fantastic to have you back!! I’m overwhelmed with excitement. And ENVY at all the decluttering you’ve been doing. I have SUCH a hard time with this as we’ve discussed. I still haven’t had time to read “the book” and my desk is still a wreck…

    But I am also so happy that things are shaping up for you. Prematurely empty, yes, but serendipity has played its hand -and not badly I might add :).

    • Kris O'Connor @Krazy_Kris April 6, 2011 at 8:16 am #

      Yes indeedy – not terribly premature – but just in time for spring tulips LOL So good to be back! TY Suzanne!

  5. mynakedbokkie April 4, 2011 at 9:47 am #

    Shoo wee….. I would be over the moon! My mom still has my brother who is 23 years old living at home…..not working, eating house and home, and constantly having social time with the entire list of his facebook contacts.
    Glad you feeling good about it.
    Xx

    • Kris O'Connor @Krazy_Kris April 6, 2011 at 8:17 am #

      Aw thanks! There are definitely waves of weirdness that come and go – but for the most part, things are good. So good to see you – TY!

  6. FitMomma April 22, 2011 at 8:28 am #

    Kris, I really appreciate the “accept what you cannot change.” Huge step in living a more relaxed life. Sounds like you’re handling the chaos with grace!

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